What's It Like to be Multiples?

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Insight from dizygotic twins

AJ (Amani) Jambhekar

Bette Midler once said, “Cherish forever what makes you unique, because you’re really a yawn if it goes.” Eleanor Roosevelt also commented on the value of individuality when she said, “Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.” Individuality has been one aspect of human life that is taught from the earliest stages of comprehension: you are unique, you are special, and there is no one else like you. But, as all multiples and parents of multiples know - it’s a little different when you have twins!

My fraternal twin sister and I are 18 years old. We attend different colleges in the United States. Our 19th birthday, which is approaching, will be the first birthday in our lives that we will be celebrating apart. She chose to go to school in Texas while I decided to go to Tulane University in New Orleans. Because of Hurricane Katrina, my whole college experience so far has been a unique one, and very different from hers.

We didn't want to go to the same college because we wanted our own separate identities, and our own separate experiences. Our father is a fraternal twin as well, and as the frustration of always being “one of the twins” really began to hit us, he told us simply to get used to it. He is 50 years old, and people still remember him and his twin brother the same way. For my sister and I, growing up as a twin made it difficult enough to assert our independence from each other, and through our teen years, constant comparison made this feat almost Herculean.

Teenage years are truly a time for children to find out who they will be as adults. With us, it was no different. We started acquiring new hobbies, interests, beliefs, and, specifically, different strengths and weaknesses. But despite that, in school, we often had somewhat of a rough time. We were both very good students who took all honours classes in high school, and for that we were always compared. Even our parents subconsciously compared us. They recognized our different talents and abilities, but academically they considered us to be equals.

When we reached our junior year in high school, class rank and SAT scores became a big issue. Though we look different and behave differently, it was expected that we should think and calculate and write the same. As a twin, our father understood our frustration firsthand, but still we were subject to the "twin card" when one of us did very poorly on a test that the other had done well on. We were frequently categorized as “the girls”, as one general entity. We felt like shouting back sometimes, "Hey, we're different people, and our brains are different too!"

We are much better friends now than we ever were, because instead of growing up together, the societal misconceptions about twins made us almost into competitors in every respect. As a teen twin, I strongly advise parents, teachers, and other influential people to consider our story when their twins or multiples begin their teenage years, and all the joys and sorrows associated with them.

Going back to Eleanor Roosevelt’s prolific words, we see that we each have an obligation to be unique. In the world of multiples, uniqueness doesn’t come with the territory. But with the understanding of people in our lives, we see that while being a multiple is a huge part of our lives, we each stand alone. We are individuals.

AJ and Anisha currently live part-time in Houston, Texas, part-time in Moscow, Russia, (their parents live in Russia) and the majority of the year at their college towns. AJ attends Tulane University, in New Orleans, Louisiana, and plans on attending medical school. Anisha goes to school at Texas A & M University in College Station, Texas, where she is pursuing veterinary medicine.